I have come to realize that I can endure so much more when I sense a deeper purpose, greater meaning, sense beyond the senseless circumstance.  Wouldn’t you agree?  If I know that I will be a better person then I find the strength to press on through the torture.  When I recognize that my pain or joy encourages another then I am challenged to conquer an even taller mountain.  Conversely, if my attempt seems futile then I quickly lapse into despondence.

Well…  it is reassuring to hear God’s voice through His Word letting us know that all (or any) of our life is not in vain…  (Well, except for Ecclesiastes!)  So check it out with me.

Paul, too,  sought assurance that his ‘labor’ had not been in vain from the church in Thessalonica (1 Thessalonians 3:4-61 Thessalonians 3:4-6
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4 For verily, when we were with you, we told you before that we should suffer tribulation; even as it came to pass, and ye know. ⁵ For this cause, when I could no longer forbear, I sent to know your faith, lest by some means the tempter have tempted you, and our labour be in vain. ⁶ But now when Timotheus came from you unto us, and brought us good tidings of your faith and charity, and that ye have good remembrance of us always, desiring greatly to see us, as we also to see you:  

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I LOVE this passage read from The Message, “Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I’ll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You’ll be living proof that I didn’t go to all this work for nothing.“  (Philippians 2:115-17Philippians 2:115-17
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And lastly …  the book of Galatians has quite a theme of suffering, running, Christ’s death, even boasting – and making sure that none of it was in vain…

So if you are doubting if the challenge is worth it?  IT IS.  Is the effort meaningful?  IT IS.  Does anyone see or care?  YES.

You are not in vain.

Mark 9:33Mark 9:33
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33 And he came to Capernaum: and being in the house he asked them, What was it that ye disputed among yourselves by the way?  

WP-Bible plugin  “What were you arguing about on the road?”  Jesus queries his followers.  They didn’t answer because their argument was about which one of them was the greatest.

Did this discussion begin innocently with discussion about the followers who were unable to cast out the deaf and dumb spirit in March 9:28h 9:28
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28 So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation.  

WP-Bible plugin?  Or perhaps while trying to figure out the meaning of Jesus’ words regarding his death in verse 31…

“Where are you?” The Creator’s voice echoes through the garden, calling out for Adam.  (Genesis 3:9Genesis 3:9
English: King James Version (1611) - KJV
9 And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?  

WP-Bible plugin)  Adam and Eve had heard God walking in the garden.  (How cool is that?)  They hid themselves.  When Adam lied about why they were hiding (He asserted that he was afraid because he was naked.) God’s questions only intensified.  “Who told you that you were naked?  Did you eat fruit from that tree?”  “What have you done?” to the woman in verse 13.

“What are you doing here, Elijah?” (I Kings 19:9)  God followed up with an up-close-and-personal encounter not often found in scripture.  The Lord ‘passed by’ Elijah in a great and strong wind that tore into the mountains and ‘broke rocks in pieces’ but the Lord ‘was not in the wind’… and again with the earthquake …  We’re all acquainted with the oft-quoted ‘still small voice’ of the Lord that Elijah heard as he was hiding in a cave, his face wrapped in a mantle.  God asks again, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (I Kings 19:13)  He awaits Elijah’s answer before providing direction.

“Why are you angry?  Why do you look so unhappy?”  are the questions posed to Cain by the Lord in Genesis 4:6Genesis 4:6
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6 And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?  

WP-Bible plugin.  “Where is your brother?”  (Genesis 4:9Genesis 4:9
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9 And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?  

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Admittedly I quake at the thought of being questioned by the Almighty.  I would wish His attention by some other means or to receive his pleasure or praise…  But HE desires truth.  Honesty.  Openness.  Confession.  He is an advocate for reparation, restoration.  Just as our natural father might do, our heavenly Father reveals the core, the root, our error.  He chastises and corrects and then repairs the damage when we respond.  Our error begins and metastasizes when we attempt to hide our wrong, we avert attention, divert responsibility to some other party.

Why does He bother?  Simple.  He loves us.

There’s nothing I love so well as a tidy bit of shelves all holding neatly contained, properly categorized inventory!   As another school year looms before us I have determined to start us off on the right foot – well-supplied and everything in one place!  Our home contains all the proper elements although they are often shifted from room-to-room to satisfy the current need and optimal comfort level.  It’s just my way.

As we prepare for upcoming changes (again) The Man has forfeited his coveted office and surrendered it somewhat willingly to our future classroom.  One problem – we need more shelves.  Another obstacle presents itself to us – we have agreed to not purchase ANY MORE furniture or household items for our current home but rather recycle, reinvent or reuse our belongings…

Out of necessity I was forced to purchase a small portion of supplies to create a workable solution.  However I am overjoyed at my economical use of what I already had from previous projects as well as what I possess- ingenuity and grit.

Okay, okay…  enough pontificating…  IF you find yourself in need of storage and hope to create a functional space here is how:

Supplies I used are:  a level, a ruler (for the sides where a level wouldn’t fit), a hammer, rubber mallet, pencil, paint and roller, latex gloves, step stool, contact paper, small manual saw (Power tools are a bit risky for someone as clumsy as myself!), lumber and nails or screws.

Measure the closet or area that will be refit into a built-in storage space.  Remember Length X Width X Height (or in this case depth) ??  So my shelves were 45 X 20 X 1/2 inch.  (Use thicker wood or plywood for sturdier shelves that will hold more.)   I use lumber strips (pine) that were 1X2’s to form supports for my shelves.  So for each shelf I had one long piece (1X2X45) and two shorter pieces for the sides (1X2X19).  DON’T ASSUME!  Measure everything.  My poor little closet is completely lopsided thanks to the settling that occurs in an old (100 years) house that sits atop a hill.

Once you have your measurements head on over to the local Home Depot or Lowe’s.  Some very nice worker will provide their opinion on choice of wood, etc. before cutting them all to size for you.  Round up any other supplies you made need (from the list above), load them all into your trunk and head triumphantly for home.

*Note:  this project should take one day…  between three home-cooked meals and a couple loads of laundry.

Make sure you’re beginning with a vacuumed and dusted work area.  Gather all of your supplies and now you’re ready for your finest hour.

I donned my pair of disposable latex gloves before painting my entire closet, floor to ceiling (and intend to return to caulk the cracks…  This cuts down on those blustery winter winds that tend to seep through any available space.)  with two coats of a white satin (leftover) interior/trim paint.  Mind you, this paint has sat in an uninsulated storage area for over a year – evidence that quality products are indeed worth their price.  It went on quickly and smoothly with my trim roller (perfect for painting inside a closet) that was also leftover from previous projects.  Allow about an hour to dry (while you’re indulging in a hearty lunch).

Second – measure and mark the placement of your shelves ( USE the level!).  I chose 15 inches because this height allows for our tallest books to stand upright as well as provides plentiful space for our stacking cubes.

Third – use the nails (or screws) to mount the supports.  I began with the back and then added the sides.

Fourth – cover the plywood shelves with contact paper and drop into place.  *Note:  It’s easiest to insert bottom-to-top.  Use the rubber mallet to wedge gently into place.

Fifth – Sweep out any debris before filling your shelves.

Lastly – stand back and admire your handiwork!

Every day, every hour,

the parents are either passively or actively

forming those habits in their children upon which,

more than upon anything else, future character and conduct depend.

Thanks to Finding Nemo The Boy has new queries to pose to us. Today he defined a conscience as something in your brain, a thought… so I clarified – it’s not something you can see or touch or operate on… It’s part of who we are, how we know what’s right and what’s wrong. (This was after he was calling me Conscience in public and me telling him to knock it off. I mean, we’re weird enough, aren’t we???)

So as I explained he blurted out, “So you ARE like my conscience. YOU tell me what’s right and wrong. You are my conscience.”

Of course I was roaring with laughter but, NO, I refuse to be referred to as Conscience.

We have a little peanut staying with us for a week or so. She is 20 months old and has suffered her own recent traumas. Today The Boy and I ventured out for a walk around the neighborhood with her.

Needless to say I am a bit tired… actually a lot tired. Incidentally, I won’t be winning any pageants today either. I have the new-mom look…. wrinkled clothes, mussed hair… weary smile.

If you ask? Yes. It’s worth it. All of it. Getting up at night to comfort a little one is worth losing sleep. (Admittedly I’m heading to the deck to nap while soaking up some rays.) Extra planning is worth a successful family night out. Watching our family work together to wrap this little one in love is priceless. We’ll each work through the extra pressure and change in our own way.

We were rounding the bend heading back toward home when an elderly gentleman paused his yardwork to greet us. Well, actually I’ve never seen him before. He wanted to greet our baby guest. He questioned her age and then offered that they are caring for their granddaughter for A YEAR while her mom is in Afghanistan. Wow. He was at least 65 but I would guess closer to 70. His granddaughter is two.

And so in exchange for his openness I shared that we have only had our little one for two days. He was obviously touched and as I moved away to continue my walk he blessed me. His words sank deeply into my tired frame as it hunched over the stroller. (They are never made for taller people.)

“Thank you for doing God’s work.”

God spoke to me through this stranger today. Just as when virtue flowed from him to the woman mentioned with the issue of blood (Mark 5:24-30Mark 5:24-30
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24 And Jesus went with him; and much people followed him, and thronged him. ²⁵ And a certain woman, which had an issue of blood twelve years, ²⁶ And had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse, ²⁷ When she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched his garment. ²⁸ For she said, If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole. ²⁹ And straightway the fountain of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague. ³⁰ And Jesus, immediately knowing in himself that virtue had gone out of him, turned him about in the press, and said, Who touched my clothes?  

WP-Bible plugin) it flowed into me today. I recognized Him… so much so that I whirled around to look behind me… expecting something even more… but nothing was there. The man had returned to his work and my feet propelled me forward… It was enough.

Yes, Lord. No regrets.

Reading this book produced poignant memories for me as well as the sadness mingled with joy that comes from having a child who is on the spectrum.  So many aspects are only memories for us … but others are recurrent.  For example, by now we (The Man and I) are fully aware of certain environmental triggers that may cause The Boy to be uncomfortable or to exhibit behavioral symptoms (twitches, flapping, agitation).  Our known ‘triggers’ include lights (colors, too bright, too dim, florescent lighting), sounds (too loud, pulsating rhythms), crowds, food (not enough protein)…  But there are other times when we are still taken off-guard, unprepared for the ‘blast’ .

We have gone months without a meltdown.  Literally.  However, last weekend we had three.  It sends us parents back to the drawing board of questions and reasoning.  Sometimes The Boy can verbalize and identify with us but other times he can’t OR he fabricates something, trying to use our discussion as leverage to earn a privilege.  (Smart Cookie – has the makings of being a negotiator!)

Back to the book – the author aptly describes the scenarios this way, “..at times I still have that tightness in my throat, that old familiar fear that his (her son’s) flexibility and peacefulness could disappear at a moment’s notice.  But although this kind of tension hovers over most autism families, there is also an element of intense pleasure when it all works out, a feeling  of ‘High five!  We did it!  Yes!’ that normal families might not experience.”

She cites numerous resources, some for diet and nutrition are Mom’s Big Book of Baking by Lauren Chattman, Kristina Chew’s vegan website veganchef.com, The Encyclopedia of Dietary Interventions for the Treatment of Autism and Related Disorders by Karyn Seroussi and Lisa Lewis, PhD, Nourishing Hope for Autism by Julie Matthews..

If you have ever encountered or cared for someone on the spectrum then you would realize the importance of prepping…  prepping for everything, sometimes step-by-step for days and -for big events- weeks…  Your goal is a ’successful’ event.  Well, Senator, the author, used ‘Crisis Stories’  or books (some refer to them as ’social stories’).  She created this strategy early on to aid in navigating a difficult trip to visit a distant relative for a family holiday.  While I do not often create a literal book (I have done so to assist with organizing and identifying The Boy’s responsibilities.) I certainly do this verbally and sometimes with role-playing or a puppet show…  Here Nat, her son, is the main character of the story going through a particular new experience, start-to-finish.  Anything new or tricky..  starting a new school, moving to a new house, making it through a large social gathering, going on vacation, etc.  The parent or care-giver guides the child in understanding what to expect, what behavior is appropriate, what he might say to others, even how he might feel and what he can do about it.  (i.e.  ‘If you’re feeling uncomfortable walk away to a quiet area or come and find me.’)  She provides step-by-step instruction along with an example.  Well done!

More resources like ‘Ways to Have Fun with Your Kid’.. as well as addressing self-care (as the caregiver) and marriage maintenance, all of which are heavy-hitters and so necessary.  The end of the book left me tearful as it revealed their decision (a necessary one) to place their child into residential care…

The Autism Mom’s Survival Guide makes the cut for my list of recommended reading.   I consider it valuable as a resource, as a way of relating to other families living and enjoying life’s ASD challenges and helping to assuage the questions and guilt-driven behaviors we moms battle as we make choices that affect our entire family.

Sometimes it happens…  I hide from myself.  Have you guessed that I am??  (Evidenced by NO entries…)  I’m sorry.  I have arrived at a juncture in my book that I don’t quite want to deal with… so I’m here confessing.  I’m balking so badly that I’ve ceased writing completely for the moment.  Completely stunted.

Confession is good, though, right?  SO I’m on the road to recovery.  I’ll come out soon…  Maybe.

Whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love will find life, righteousness, and honor.
Proverbs 21:21Proverbs 21:21
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21 He that followeth after righteousness and mercy findeth life, righteousness, and honour.  

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